ただいま

I have arrived safely back in Hiroshima despite fatigue am feeling pretty

Maki just came up with the most interesting pronunciation of 'fatigue'!! "'farrtigiuew' tte nani?" (What is . . ) Which just has me rolling in the aisles . . if there were any involved when sitting at kotatsu that is . . .

Anyway, back to the point . . .
. . feeling pretty happy to be back.
I chatted to some interesting people on the many planes that I caught.
Had some rather intersting vegan desserts.
Considered the potential hazard in handing out copious amounts of peanuts to people in confined spaces . . hasn't that been banded on many airlines ?
Decided to randomly hang out in Shin-Osaka station to wait for the extra specailly fast train that I had already paid to ride though it turned out catching an earlier cheaper one would have gotten me there faster . . . I am very happy I did this because I often forget to stop and just take stuff in when I am catching trains in Japan. The novelty of being able to trains within three minutes of entering a station still hasn't worn off and nor was it improved by my recent trip back to experience the atrociousness of A-towns public transport system. Anyway, I hung about, had onigiri for breakfast and hot yuzu drink and then ended up buying giant stuffed takoyaki. Who doesn't need a cute stuffed toy of an octopus batter ball hey ?? I'm thinking of you Samantha and was tempted to get a keyring one to accompany your takoyaki griddle . . thought better of it!
I got my Visa stuff sorted out as soon as I got back which was good and then I stuck it to the man by sneaking into Macdonalds and not buying anything but using the powerpoints that they have there for customers so that I could recharge my phone and make phone calls to tell everyone I was back.
Chijimi responded immediately and so we ended up going out for Okonomiyaki and now I have decided to go to China with him and Kuruma in May. This may seem foolish to those of you who have heard the stories about all of this but I figure I'm young and am likely to get many such offers to have guided tours of foreign countries!

I have spent today recovering from my trip at Maki's house hanging out and chatting with her. Now her parents are home and we're to have dinner soon . . AND then, tonight the third LOTR movie is showing on TV . . guess what I plan on doing ?? Ring New York is what!! Maki has been accepted by all of the Art Schools she applied to and has been able to choose her top choice!! How brilliant is that ?!! So she will be going to Parsons in NY from about June . . . might have to go there too now!! I am sure I will also get in some practise of my Jap by watching translated Tolkien mastery! A nerddom!

Maki and I are also going to make an Orange and Almond cake! I had a weird experience trying to buy oranges today because I couldn't tell what was an orange, mandarin or grapefruit . . I have now decided that the Japanese have a completely different concept of what is an orange by comparison to Australian standards!

Over and out!

Adieu, adieu to you and you and you . . .

Tripping (lit) through the sandy shores of The South
Originally uploaded by Yukata Me.

Tomorrow is my last day in Adelaide before I race back to Japan before my VISA expires and I don't have time to get it extended properly . . . Still I think it was worth going to Tokyo rather than waiting around to get the stupid thing before I came back! What's life for, hey ?!

I feel rather apprehensive about heading back really. I am feeling greatly relieved to be able to leave A-town behind again because right now, as I am sure most of you know, it's not an easy place for me to be. However, the emotions are not all positive.

When I was leaving last year it was with a great about of excitement and feeling of optimism about the potentials unfolding before me. This was tainted by the sadness that I felt at leaving those for whom I cared most and was most afraid to lose. Now the worst has and continues to occur and nothing much but time is ever likely to make any difference. As I prepare (or more correctly, don't even bother much to do so) this time I feel strangely ill at ease. I know I am far more capable of dealing with issues of language, etc and I feel comfortable in the knowledge that I will be safely and relatively efficiently able to leap hurdles that I may encounter, but this time as I leave I feel like all of the old parameters have fallen away and it's really scary.

I don't know about the old adage of the world being one's oyster and all feeling so brilliant. Right now, as I consider what seems to be a galaxy of choices and shining possibilities I just feel like I've lucked out and contracted food-poisoning. Shellfish!

I don't know whether I will feel okay about coming back to A-town in another 6 months. Many I still won't be able to cope with all of the pain. It all still looks so much the same yet things really are so different. How will it be when I return next ? How will I be ? Who will I be ? Will I have started to hate Japan by then ? Will I have finally found a direction; some motivation ?

One year ago I left my hometown for an extended stint living overseas to study a language that I had nearly forgotten in a country I had never visited. I didn't forsee many of the outcomes of this rather radical move but I don't know that I could have done much differently. I needed to leave then for the sake of my sanity. Years of rather unrewarding study in a field I seemed destined never to succeed as I would wish had taken their toll on my health and happiness and despite the many wonderful people in my life I just had to go and see if I couldn't prove to myself that I could do something a little more amazing with my life than flounder into oblivion, relegated to the status of just one of the crowd . . . a frustrated pseudo-epicure who was gradually becoming more and more mediocre.

I don't think that I can question the wisdom of leaving. Though I start to cry as I consider how miserable I have been for the greater part of the past four months I still can't say that if I could go back I would. I have never been through such a difficult time in my life. Maybe this sounds pretty self-indulgent when you consider all of the suffering in the world, but hey . . this is my pain (one can only empathize so much) and it's sure the worst I have ever felt for a consistently long period. I have never felt so sad or directionless; never cried so much . . . not even when, as a kid, I used to lie in bed at night and allow the deep-seated fears about my Nanna dying to take hold and run riot until I was weeping in uncontrollable fear at the thought of how grief-stricken I would feel should the inevitable happen all too soon. (NB My Nan lives on, maintaining her life at a decent standard whilst living alone in the house where she single-handedly raised her six children)

I am scared, not thrilled by the boundlessness of what I see as my future. I feel like I want to escape it, but equally fear to stay here and continue to superficially inhabit the space I have been lent over the past month. Familiar, yet not so. A mish-mash of things collected over 25 years of life that now seem very distant . . . being relegated to a single bed and once-familiar room of bits and pieces that seem like remnants from the life of an old friend who has mysteriously vanished and left me in their place. Surrounded by things that have sat alone so long that they now seem to have lost their value. Things that were prized by another whose priorities and passions feel so disperate to my own as seem alien. Like when shoes go unpolished so that one day when it is said that they are no longer of the fashion, because there is no evidence that they were ever cherished suddenly the only measure of value being applied is the cold trend machine. No sentiment to soften the blow. Just a sense of impatience for space-consuming, cumbersome stuff . . junk.

There have been some great moments back in A-town. Instances when I have been reminded of why, in February, I suddenly felt such a desire to return.

On a more positive note . . .
Thank you so much to all of the people who have helped me so much during this month visit back here. Hanging out with you all has been the making of my trip back. A-town is nothing without the wonderful peeps in it! (Just a whole lot of lovely weather, pretty parklands, bicycle tracks and pubs and churchs . . hey . . that doesn't sound so bad . . but I'd sure miss you all and doubt I'd enjoy it half so much . . a quarter as much without you!)
To name a few, and certainly not all . . .

Aliese (no one could ever not deserve a better friend more and be soooo thankful to have been so lucky!)
Sarah (late-night sessions and so many hugs)
Wizard
SareB
Beenz
Pooj
Midge & Da
Phili
Jess Jess (You rock my world Lady Lady!)
Geets
Ry
Andrew & Sam
Karinski
Court
Peach & James
Marni (the perfect dance partner!)
Denni
Michelle and Catherine (for Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit excellentness . . yes! It truly does exist and I am now the biggest and happiest nerd in the world! Finally! A chance to prove my brilliance in the field where it matters most!)

Thanks also/again to all of those lovely peeps who braved bogan spores and a smattering of rain at late notice to come and have a farewell drink or ten with me last night.

So long and thanks for all the fish!

Leaving on a jetplane . . .

Hey hey!! A cordial invite to Everybody in A-town!

I will be heading back over to Japan after my very short trip back here for just a month of lovely weather and festivalness . . .

Very short notice, so sorry, but tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon/evening I will be hanging out in town in anticipation of seeing all those I haven't already seen and also those that I have and just can't seem to get enough of!

The plan is still not really confirmed but there apparently shows going on at both the Cranker and Exeter . . . So . . at present I think I'm likely to be at the Crown and Anchor earlier on (6-9ish ?)and then heading over to the Exeter for Sunday Side Up or whatever from 9ish . . . I don't know - feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on all of that . . . anyway . . if you can please drop on by and have a farewell drink and natter with me!

I'll try to sms peeps but I only have $2 credit left . . .

Tokyo Friends . . . 東京の友達

箱根で船に乗った
Originally uploaded by Yukata Me.

Andrew and I braving the cool cool temperatures out on the ferry at Hakone. I was very skeptical about going on a tour . . . tour travel is not really what'd consider to be my cup of tea but I'm so glad that Andrew talked me into it! Now I can say that I have done the touristy thing of seeing and going to Mt Fuji. I have seen Fuji from the Chuo Freeway . . . I was concerned as to what this promise in the leaflet would actually provided us with . . a fly-by look at powerlines and smog over freeway guardrails? The thought was positively breathtaking for all the wrong reasons.
However, after the fairly taxing time of self-directed touring in Nikko and the seemeingly requisite late-night angsty and philosophical talks the previous day, the bus tour was bliss and the perfect choice - You win Andrew! We also met some lovely people whom I hope to meet again someday.

Tonight I am going out for dinner with Andrew, Samantha (his lady-friend) and Wiz. We plan on having a (fair) bit of Japan-related reminiscencing going down . . lucky that Sam lived in Kyoto for two years and that Wiz loves sushi!

The nature of friendship really is something that has really had me thinking these past few months. Strange how is can take years and millions of miles for things to work again after they have gone awry . . and brilliant! I was dubious as to how much enjoyment Andrew and I might actually get out of catching up and hanging out in Japan considering the practically non-existent state of our relationship when in Adelaide prior to my year in Hiroshima. Now I can't wait to catch up with these two and am anticipating having a lovely time. Adelaide being as small as it is we have already bumped into each other on a number of occasions but I am looking forward to a lively night of jovial banter.

Funny that we couldn't think where we ought to go . . . Andrew said he'd never liked Japanese food before his trip there but now he loves the stuff. Silly us . . wasn't the choice obvious ?! Thus I belatedly decided we should go to Genki off Gouger but now I have suddenly remembered that I have been wanting to go back to Matsuri on Gouger for some time . . . choices choices! Really should get ready now.

But it is interesting to me the way that human relationships fluctuate, grow or die the way they do. Being away from my hometown certainly encouraged me to get past many of my qualms when it comes to 'making friends and (not necessarily) influencing people'!

Wow! There is a kookaburra sitting in the tree out the window in front of me as I sit and type. I heard some too the other day when out at a picnic. Ahhh . . it's nice to be home.

However, it has been short and bittersweet for the time has come, the walrus said. In a week I shall be relievedly back on a plane and returning to Japan. Only catch being that I discovered yesterday that my flight via Singapore will also mysteriously touch down for a time in Bangkok . . WHY?!!! The upshot of this is that I had to be booked in immediately for an operation on my ear so that I didn't suffer immense pain in the whole operation . . well, I'm not sure I saved myself so much pain given how much the needle hurts when they inject anesthetic right down inside your ear, but now I can rest assured that I won't want to commit 'seppuku' at every take off and landing.

I am thinking that there will most likely be a gathering of some kind or another to enable to at least make eye-contact with all of those people I have not been fortunate enough to bump into for far on my holiday back in A-town.

Righto . . this has been a scatty post rather unrelated to current events. It has been odd to be in tourist mode despite being in the place you grew up so I plan to take advantage of this and post some fairly typical photos and posts just to document things while they feel slightly novel.
"Life's what happens to you while you're busy making other plans", isn't it just?!

In brief:
Best wishes for a quick and complete recovery to Dean.

Happy Birthdays to . . .
The lovely Shelley for the other week
The vibrant and loyal Beenz, also for the other week.

Right! Must dash!!!!! ワープ！

So little time, so much to do . . .

Hmmm . . . I know that the fact that your computer will remember all of those annoyingly numerous yet necessary passwords for you is rather convenient, however it always leaves me with the problem that I am completely unaware of my password when I attempt to login using a public computer - thank you BSL.
Thus I have no photo to offer for what is likely to be a brief entry as I kill a bit of time before I walk back over to the Markets to retrieve my bike and cycle over to the Worldsend to meet up with nice folks for a evening of (hopefully) enjoyment.

I have been wanting to post for a while but things have been busy-ish for me in A-town as I try to catch up with as many people as I can before flying out again to my favourite achipelagos, Wednesday week. The weather really has been fine - so nice after the awful heat of Japanese summer and then cold of winter . . C'mon Japan! What's with trying to kill me with the extreme heating of indoors ?! It's like constantly trying to live in a Finnish sauna!! I love Adelaide weather!! You win Australia!

Wow . . so many things have been happening and are in my head that I want to say . . .
I have just spent a lovely afternoon with Sally as she listened to me pour out a wealth of angst sat on Gouger St and then wandered through the heart of the city to the Art Gallery to see the Bienniel of 21st Cent Oz art . . . It was still on my second visit and I would encourage all those of you in A-town to make the effort to check it out! I especially like the elitest snobbery of the art work by Garreth Somebody-or-other, 20th Cent Art. Oh how I love in-jokes when I get them! So nice to feel you know something . . . yeah! Look at me! I will soon be the proud possessor of not 1 but 3 useless pieces of paper proving my academic magnificence!!

Though I am now feeling a little tense about the Japanese emails from my Uni in Japan that have come in to my Inbox but are illegible on this computer! I should have written to the a family about going to live with them in Japan but have yet to do so - I will be there oh so soon!! I WILL do that tomorrow!

I also bumped into Greta just before which was ace! She informed me that she and her man-friend have decided to tie the knot! Congrats lady! She also said that she enjoys reading my blog which was lovely to hear . . . There have been many discussions of late as to how one can best attract the punters and garner those all-important visitor comments . . . It is weird to realise that there are people out there who are aware of your goings on whilst you remain oblivious to their . . scrutiny . . shall we call it ? Well, it was nice to feel that perhaps there is a point to this other than that I will one day print it all out as some passable form of documentation of my experiences in the past year . . not comprehensive but something. Hmmmm maybe I shall have to leave further conjecture on this topic for another time. But yeah, name-dropping . . holding opinion polls . . all good ideas, but who needs them when you have sheer brilliance, hey ?

I had an interesting whirlwind trip to the Mt to visit me Nan. Didn't really end up having much a of chance to spend time with her but I had some nice moments with both of my aunts who were there - took some lovely photos as I wandered the railway tracks with Catty, Alex and Da. Also found a lovely street sign just for me . . . not the boring black and white excuses for signage you get in A-town but ornate pine-green items! Pity I didn't have my screw-driver handy . . .

Oh, and I voted like a conscientious citizen . . consceientious of a fine should I forget and the thought that State government should come to further resemble the travesty that is Federal gov.

I have run out of time but would just say that Geet rules! And so do wombles . . especially wombles on ice!!

Oh oh! And Pippa! I hope that she and Dan are happily reunited and having fun in Shang-hai! Whar-kow!!

Is it worth it ?

It's been a terribly up and down two days.
Friday I had an extremely timely visit from family friends who distracted me with their grandchild and picked me up from the floor . . . Maybe Sarah knows, is there a connection between porcelain and slate ? Because my allergy seemed to have progressed or at least transfered . . ha haa to me. Distractions are a wonderful wonderful thing.

Then the lovely Sarah and I went out on the town with inclinations towards catching the opening of the festival thingo . . It was a very Adelaide event with me seeing lots of people with whom I have been wanting to get in contact. Oh, speak of the devil! And there is Asher! Then another sighting sent me spiralling right down again . . . and I think I should ran under a No Porcelain slogan. So we ran across town to the Garden of Unearthly Delights and saw an amusing performance featuring a girl with a highly amusing laugh. We also ended up having a lovely and much needed talk session - aren't friends amazing?!

Oh and does laughing ever hurt this morning!! Hopefully throwing myself back into lots of pilates will mean the effects on the subsequent day will decrease.

Yesterday was certainly long . . and I've not long woken up from it all . . . Pips and Dan had there party partyness which was . . . ummm . . probably one of the hardest picnics I have endured. But I did have some lovely moments seeing Shelley, meeting the much talked about Chris Woodrow and seeing Alicia most enamoured of her new friend Holly. Eating watermelon in the warmth of late summer whilst lazying in the shade . . . having the cute young Basil having fun with my old phone - just like Yuu (my friend Ayumi's baby boy does) . . Lazying right til the end with Wiz and Aliese.

The night just kept on going on and on . . Aliese, Wiz and I had some fun on the Ferris Wheel and Carousel at The Garden . . good times were had by all. I found Jess Jess again - love that Lady! Then I also bumped into more friends and discovered more of the Adelaideness of life . . Of course Helen is the newest member of The Dollhouse! Only in Adelaide!

Then I had more fun talking to more people that I haven't seen in a long long time . . . But I'm still not sure whether coming back has been worth it . . . At least in Japan I can ignore and forget stuff - supress the pain in what I'm sure is an extremely healthy way of dealing with my problems. I'm also worried that perhaps it puts a lot of stress on others who are being pulled into my issues . . sorry kids!
Call out to a special Lady - thank you so much for all your support - you are sooo amazingly the best and I don't know what I'd do without you - take care Miss!

Also managed to see Ben Moss two times in two days - got to love that man, but I'm having trouible getting accustomed to the new hirsuit - I had become to used to the Mossness of old look! How things change! Is nothing sacred ?! I will hold you to that promise of the Persian Gardens, Ben Moss!

Best go and enjoy this Sunday arvo sunnyness . . I need some beach action ?!! Still haven't been yet! Who is up for it ?

Musings

In which I consider whether the incoherency of my last post is simply an authentic and thus appropriate representational of my current mental and emotional state and should thus remain for posterity or whether I should allow pride and grammar to get the better of me . . . I wrote the darn thing and there are bits of which even I can't make sense.

The lovely weather and impending picnic in the park with friends I have not seen in over a year.
The absence of a bike which would make aforementioned weather soooo much more enjoyable.

How sore I am going to be tomorrow after my early morning Pilates session which comes after a year's enforced break because my room in Japan was too samll to do even the most basic of moves with any great comfort or ease.

The fact that I miss being able to wear my lovely autumn clothes that I have been acquiring lately in Japan and which were all left behind. I love the warmth but don't quite feel like the me I am these days because I'm wearing 'old me' clothes.

The necessity for new jeans .. but it's too hot for jeans here.

This insane new fashion for short shorts . . . my god, when did that happen ?

How I am going to get through this month . . . I suppose it will get easier and then I can leave again.

Adelaide . . oh! Adelaide . . you can't go anywhere without seeing the people you just would rather not. But I did randomly bump into Asher having just mentioned her . . how Adelaide!

SARAH rocks my world . . . as does her Tardis saudi-gold vehicle! You are the best lady!

Auslandia . . .

There's no place like home bringing out the neuroses in us all!!

I'm back.
It's day 3.
I made lots of appointments for the needful yesterday and then even got as social as to hang out on a roof in metropolitan A-town, go out for dinner at an old favourite and then my intrepid friends and I ventured over to check out the Fringeyness going down in the East End.
Adelaide . . . the first five minutes in town and I've already seen numerous people I know and tried to land myself in it by calling someone's new girlfriend by the old one's name . . . jetlag ?
That Garden of Hoops and Wheels or whatever it is was like a hive of peeps from the Adelaide scene which more than being a fun reunion of happy reminisences caused me a reasonable amount of angst and grief. Oh how wonder I knew it would be to come home . . . well, can't really complain about the weather except that I don't have a bike for taking leisurely cruises about on and I don't have anyone go with as most people have lives which means that they are busy.

Hmmmm . . . I try to be positive on this blog as a rule but that policy seems to have gone out the window somewhat today.

Made a tricky phone call today . . . I seemed to have developed some sort of allergy for porcelain . . . Every time I have a shower tears spring to my eyes . . and last night I have a violent reaction that was almost akin to hysterical weeping whilst in the toilet . . . first milk and wheat . . now china! What shall I do ? Become a bubble girl ?

But I am looking forward to going out tonight to see some bands that I haven't heard for a long time - also hanging out with Jess-Jess should be way cool.
I did also score a new necklace last night as I left all of mine in Hiroshima because it has been too cold for anything much but scarves around one's neck of late. My newest favourite colour is orange - it's the new black!

Before I came home I dashed to Tokyo for a flying trip of random sightseeing and hanging out with Andrew, an old friend from A-town. It was unexpectedly brilliant and was one of the highlights of the past 6 months which was been rather grim.
WELCOME HOME ANDREW! I bet you are at the beach now - exactly where you wanted to be!! Perfect weather for it!

Damn I don't get Australian phones and their predictive text - I want 'go' not 'in'!! Jeezzzz . . why can't my lovely Japanese phone work here . . sadness. It just took me about 5 minutes to write a few sentences . . and unlike when I first arrived in Japan it wasn't because I couldn't speak the language - I simply couldn't figure out the machinery!

Where are my Dorothy shoes ? Oh yes . . they're giving me blisters . . . and where would they take me anyway ? Back to much smaller naiton of islands ?