Random stresses . . . and fun times
Life is one crazy experience . . . It doesn't run smooth and though I mainly think that this makes things more significant and is benefit, other times I just wish that reality would bugger off somewhere else. Who needs it ? Like when your favourite TV programme turns out to be one of those that has a 'realistic' ending . . . read, inexplicable, complicated and boy/girl doesn't get the one they want. うんざり！！ I have days when I just want fantasy and to pretend that I don't have problems, faults and pains that just won't go away no matter what I do or how much I try to ignore them.
Having been thinking a lot of about the future lately . . . It seems so uncertain and I wish I could see a clear path; had some idea of what I should do for the best.
Don't really want to come home yet - don't feel ready - I want to be around for Xmas but other than that it just seems like a bad idea - I'd like to have time to be with family etc but the Adelaide scene just doesn't seem like a healthy place for me to be right now - if it ever will anytime soon - maybe this avoiding the ultimate reality that I must eventually move on to . . . But anything else doesn't quite seem me - I can't do it any faster than this - it all still hurts and I still find myself reduced tears at stupid times - like now in the assisted learning facility having read of saddening stuff in someone else's life. Maybe I'm hopeless but I don't think so . . . I'm just me and this is the way I have to do it. Wish I could snap my fingers and be all better - but I've always been a bit slow on the uptake - I know that there are so many things about me and my life that have and still do need work . . . well, I'm trying and will probably always be. The slow way works for me - it means that I work it all out thoroughly my own way but to such an extent that I'm not likely to need to go back ever again . .
I want to stay here in Japan - it still doesn't feel like the end - so I am thinking that I will be back in September and try to take the jap proficiency test and then maybe apply for JET and then come back to Japan for a bit longer 。。。 not sure about the idea of honours . . . Maybe I should do that but then again maybe I should wait a bit longer - get some money together and think about what I want to do. Maybe I could apply for a grant/scholarship thing that I hear you can get from govs to do post grad studies in Japan . . .
Tonight . . . . . . Alex has been trying hard to encourage me to go out to a bar in town tonight with the gaijin that I like - and I really wanted to go - to experience the gaijinness of barracking for Oz against Japan in the soccer . . . I do want to go but then again I have soo much work to do and have class until 8pm . . . well, will see how I feel - am tired but might perk up.
We had a 5 scale earthquake this morning at 5am this morning - woke me up but I didn't bother doing much after that - decided it didn't warrant much thought after I had reassured myself I was unlikely to die under a torrent of bricks and mortar . . . Have you heard about it in through the amazingness of the intermanet? Some stuff fell of my shelves but it wasn't as full-on as I'd thought a 5 scale tremour would be!
Yesterday I had a lovely day out when I should have been studying but I spent all Saturday until 2am doing that!! I rode to the seaside - an hour from my house - to Marina Hop which is Hiroshima's response to Adelaide's Harbour Town, or it's the otherway around . . . Only Marina Hop has a 'river' flowing through it! They ask you not to enter it . . . haa haa - a river! Even in it Japanese it says river and Kana agreed it was a strange definition for a 5 cm deep mosaiced trailing water feature filled with various statues etc . . . But it has the same long structure and is all paved with overhead sails and is hot! Is actually near the water however, but is similarly located next to the aeroport - on this one is the old aeroport (now called the west Hiroshima aeroport) rather than the one which I always have to travel an hour or so to get to!
A funny that happened on the way was a chubby little 8-10 Japanese boy's suddenly exclaiming and pointing at me in amazment as I rode past him . . . I must have popped his gaijin cherry I want to shout back 'Ohhhh Nihonjin!' (Japanese person!)
Kana and I bought lots of amazing bargains - including something that I'd had my eye on ages ago but crossed off as too expensive - 8000 yen but I got two of them and a shirt, originally priced at 6000 yen all for 5000!!!! SOoooooo happy - and bought a number of little items - tops and things for 500 yen each so am now reasonably equipped for summer!! AM wearing my superman undies today so feeling a bit spesh!! (Read Superman undies as all new clothes - Calvin and Hobbes! . . don't think people have really noticed but Kana was wearing some of her new stuff so we complemented each other!
Afterwards Keinan and I went to the movies and saw a Japanese movie - odd and rather unintelligble to us but funny non the less . . a nice experience - look to be some other interesting things on too so I might try and go aagin soon . . . The new Miyazaki anime based on The Wizard of Earthsea books come out in July too . . . We also did some windowshopping and then skipped dinner after the movie in favour of getting home earlier - I then rode home getting there about 11pm - meant to study but went to bed just after 12am so Kumichan (host mum) started to do some ironing having got Riyo (the one year old) to sleep.
Lately I have been playing with Riyo and see likes the 'game' where I pick her up as though she sitting on a swing and run up and down the passage with her - this started when she was being slightly naughty and climbing up on the table and so I grabbed her everytime she started to climb the chair - she soon learned that I'd play with her if she hugged the chair as if to climb . . . after this, one night when I was eating dinner and she wanted to play she got me by the finger and led me up the passage only to let go and walk away so that she could pretend to climb my now empty chair so that I'd play with her . . . Very cute - she is much more comfortable around me now - it's fun. I also have fun speaking in English to her . . . Randomly coming out with phrases that pretty much translate what everyone else is saying but they don't understand and find it entertaining.
Closing time!
Having been thinking a lot of about the future lately . . . It seems so uncertain and I wish I could see a clear path; had some idea of what I should do for the best.
Don't really want to come home yet - don't feel ready - I want to be around for Xmas but other than that it just seems like a bad idea - I'd like to have time to be with family etc but the Adelaide scene just doesn't seem like a healthy place for me to be right now - if it ever will anytime soon - maybe this avoiding the ultimate reality that I must eventually move on to . . . But anything else doesn't quite seem me - I can't do it any faster than this - it all still hurts and I still find myself reduced tears at stupid times - like now in the assisted learning facility having read of saddening stuff in someone else's life. Maybe I'm hopeless but I don't think so . . . I'm just me and this is the way I have to do it. Wish I could snap my fingers and be all better - but I've always been a bit slow on the uptake - I know that there are so many things about me and my life that have and still do need work . . . well, I'm trying and will probably always be. The slow way works for me - it means that I work it all out thoroughly my own way but to such an extent that I'm not likely to need to go back ever again . .
I want to stay here in Japan - it still doesn't feel like the end - so I am thinking that I will be back in September and try to take the jap proficiency test and then maybe apply for JET and then come back to Japan for a bit longer 。。。 not sure about the idea of honours . . . Maybe I should do that but then again maybe I should wait a bit longer - get some money together and think about what I want to do. Maybe I could apply for a grant/scholarship thing that I hear you can get from govs to do post grad studies in Japan . . .
Tonight . . . . . . Alex has been trying hard to encourage me to go out to a bar in town tonight with the gaijin that I like - and I really wanted to go - to experience the gaijinness of barracking for Oz against Japan in the soccer . . . I do want to go but then again I have soo much work to do and have class until 8pm . . . well, will see how I feel - am tired but might perk up.
We had a 5 scale earthquake this morning at 5am this morning - woke me up but I didn't bother doing much after that - decided it didn't warrant much thought after I had reassured myself I was unlikely to die under a torrent of bricks and mortar . . . Have you heard about it in through the amazingness of the intermanet? Some stuff fell of my shelves but it wasn't as full-on as I'd thought a 5 scale tremour would be!
Yesterday I had a lovely day out when I should have been studying but I spent all Saturday until 2am doing that!! I rode to the seaside - an hour from my house - to Marina Hop which is Hiroshima's response to Adelaide's Harbour Town, or it's the otherway around . . . Only Marina Hop has a 'river' flowing through it! They ask you not to enter it . . . haa haa - a river! Even in it Japanese it says river and Kana agreed it was a strange definition for a 5 cm deep mosaiced trailing water feature filled with various statues etc . . . But it has the same long structure and is all paved with overhead sails and is hot! Is actually near the water however, but is similarly located next to the aeroport - on this one is the old aeroport (now called the west Hiroshima aeroport) rather than the one which I always have to travel an hour or so to get to!
A funny that happened on the way was a chubby little 8-10 Japanese boy's suddenly exclaiming and pointing at me in amazment as I rode past him . . . I must have popped his gaijin cherry I want to shout back 'Ohhhh Nihonjin!' (Japanese person!)
Kana and I bought lots of amazing bargains - including something that I'd had my eye on ages ago but crossed off as too expensive - 8000 yen but I got two of them and a shirt, originally priced at 6000 yen all for 5000!!!! SOoooooo happy - and bought a number of little items - tops and things for 500 yen each so am now reasonably equipped for summer!! AM wearing my superman undies today so feeling a bit spesh!! (Read Superman undies as all new clothes - Calvin and Hobbes! . . don't think people have really noticed but Kana was wearing some of her new stuff so we complemented each other!
Afterwards Keinan and I went to the movies and saw a Japanese movie - odd and rather unintelligble to us but funny non the less . . a nice experience - look to be some other interesting things on too so I might try and go aagin soon . . . The new Miyazaki anime based on The Wizard of Earthsea books come out in July too . . . We also did some windowshopping and then skipped dinner after the movie in favour of getting home earlier - I then rode home getting there about 11pm - meant to study but went to bed just after 12am so Kumichan (host mum) started to do some ironing having got Riyo (the one year old) to sleep.
Lately I have been playing with Riyo and see likes the 'game' where I pick her up as though she sitting on a swing and run up and down the passage with her - this started when she was being slightly naughty and climbing up on the table and so I grabbed her everytime she started to climb the chair - she soon learned that I'd play with her if she hugged the chair as if to climb . . . after this, one night when I was eating dinner and she wanted to play she got me by the finger and led me up the passage only to let go and walk away so that she could pretend to climb my now empty chair so that I'd play with her . . . Very cute - she is much more comfortable around me now - it's fun. I also have fun speaking in English to her . . . Randomly coming out with phrases that pretty much translate what everyone else is saying but they don't understand and find it entertaining.
Closing time!
posted by Eleanora Martinez at 5:26 PM
2 Comments:
Did you end up watching the game? I bet there's some unhappy people up your way! Jarrod did your study avoidance thing and watched it to 12:30am despite having an exam in Port Augusta today :) Good luck with your decisions about the future. I've also got decisions to make as the job I'm acting in is being advertised for a year contract but the Senior SP job is also being advertised for 6 months, and then at the end of the year we'll probably be going somewhere (anywhere!) for Jarrod's work. I agree that sometimes I just wish life was simple. Someone the other day commented that "settling down" as the ultimate aim in life was a Western lie - don't know what you think about that given your travels ...
I yelled myself hoarse and then despite believing that I had a test today I stayed out til just before 2 and then did the 30 minute ride home slightly tipsy! I must admit that the second half of the game is rather blurry as I had kind of given up hope - I find it's had to maintain the belief in a room filled with supporters of the other team . . . and they had a very catchy cry going too . . . I did my best to get 'Aussie Aussie Aussie' going but I think Alex and Tori had decided that they had done enough in dressing elaborately in green and gold - even going as far as giant top hats and glowsticks - very impressive!
We were sooo elated when we realised that we were going to win after all!! And all of my telling everybody I saw not to cry (負けると、泣かないでね- these phrase also contains the nuance that it is natural that they would lose - I'm such a grammar nerd!）when we won in the face of no goals all game didn't backfire!!
Double bonus was that today we didn't have a test and what I thought was unfinished homework was stuff that the teacher talked us through today anyway!
Bugger - just lost half that comment - and I almost copied the whole thing but didn't - you will just have to imagine how witty, insightful and well-written it was, until I get around to thinking it all up again but now it's late and I must away . . .
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